As often happens in our lives: you are going to spend a couple of hours in bed with your partner, when suddenly… In fact, there are a lot of these “suddenly”: a change in the weather, an eaten pizza, whose shelf life ended a couple days ago, or even gloomy thoughts about the futility of life and the transitory nature of the universe. However, the topic is too extensive, so let us talk about external interferences. Lets try to understand what can prevent us from having fun in bed.
It is divided into three categories. First of all, it’s the children: your own or younger brothers and sisters, it does not matter. They can ruin all the fun becauase of lack of understanding of the importance of the moment. And the most dangerous are the children of a young age. Teens who are familiar with the subject prefer to hide and enjoy the picture. Those who are younger, on the contrary, will not hesitate to stand next to the bed, and… Well, wait for a rumbling and requirements such as: a) to take them to the toilet, b) bring some water, c) to let them lay next to you because they are scared. Regardless of requests, you can be sure that before the mind will agree to switch to the sexual needs, you’ll run five times to check if the baby is sleeping.
Here come representatives of the older generation: mother, grandmother, mother in law. Having lived a long life, they do not pay attention to many little things, including sex between two young people. This property can provide quite an unpredictable effect. Get ready for the fact that they can break into the room at the hottest moment: a) to offer a tea, b) to take something they need, and c) open the window, because it’s stuffy. They are offended in case of any perturbations, but that does not stop them to break again in ten minutes to repeat the procedure.
And finally, senior representatives of the male sex. In general, they understand what they can see in the case of the sudden invasion. However, you can still wait for your dad or grandpa to come in with some very important information about his favorite team, with a proposal to go fishing on weekends or with the question of how to spell the word “transcendental”.
Put some locks on the door.
Any animal which is in the room will make noise. Cockroaches and spiders will crawl in a prominent place, forcing to think not about orgasm, but on how to beat a brazen creature. Mosquitoes will gladly perform live just above the ear, and the butterflies and moths prefer to sit on your ass in the most important moment. The dog climbs onto the bed to take part in the game, and attempts to oust it will lead to howl.
The representatives of the cat family should be in a separate category for their total unpredictability. They may start to demand something to eat or cling to the twitching leg or sit down next to you grimly studying the courtship of representatives of the human species. In any case, such attention is not the best libido stimulant.
Take care of the problem of food and walk your pets. The best option is to drive them out or lock in another room. As for any other fauna, you can only be patient and do not pay attention to it, because spraying aerosols will reduce your sexual activity to zero (smell of insecticide is not the best aphrodisiac).
Neighbors provide a wide range of interferences. Those that are below, can be dissatisfied with the active creaking of the bed, expressing the whole gamut of the emotions through the active knock on the ceiling. Neighbors above can shock you with a flood or party with dancing and singing. Also, they love to do repairs outside normal working hours, and the buzzing of drills and hammering are not the best soundtrack for sexual intercourse.
At any time, you should expect a knock at the door, as someone of these individuals suddenly needs to borrow sugar, salt, money, or a drill for the repairs. Or someone decided that two o’clock in the morning is the best time to pay back all the debts.
A good soundproofing can solve the problem.
4. Sounds of the world
There are a lot of sources of noise. And if you can get used to the sounds of cars and trains, rumble of the plane passing over the roof can spoil the mood. Once again, you need a good noise insulation.
You are lying in bed relaxed in the arms of a loved one. You are kissing and are about to reach the most important part, when suddenly … Anything may happen. A Teddy Bear folded behind the cupboard a decade ago suddenly starts to sing a song about the birthday. Also, you can hear the sound of creaking floorboard from another room, despite the fact that there is no one here except two of you.
You need a lot of self-control. Remember that the Martians, maniacs and demons will understand, and they will certainly wait for the moment when you finish the job. So do not upset and keep on going.