If you count the number of divorces in the world, it turns out that in one hundred married couples, fifty come to the conclusion that their desire to be together was a mistake.
We are not talking here about those who are not experiencing satisfaction from family life, but do not want to admit it. Failure in marriage indicates, first of all, that the young people initially made the wrong choice.
Of course, there are countless ways to fail in marriage. Let us consider only the most characteristic, the most typical of them.
Reason one (classical)
Seeing negative symptoms, you do not regard it as an obstacle to marriage – in the hope that she will change. Well… As a wise man once said, “Everyone can realistically expect that over time, the one who lives next to him to change. But keep in mind: the change will happen, but … for the worse.”
The golden rule: never marry if you are not satisfied with any spiritual qualities, character traits, style of communication in your beloved. Otherwise, you should be sure that will be able to put up with its shortcomings and take it for what it is now.
Are you sure that the most important thing in marriage, as they say now – “Chemistry” (this notion can be defined as the unconscious attraction to each other, when young people communicating with each other, feel comfortable). The rest does not matter …
In fact, mutual “chemical reaction” is able to ignite a rapid fire. But be careful with love syndrome. It can only be a sexual attraction.
To test the seriousness of your intentions, you have to force yourself to carefully examine the “object”.
What are the features are subject to review?
Try to find out what is more important for your friend: do the right thing or the way it is convenient?
And be sure to ask yourself a very important question: Do you want to have a child with this girl?
The ability to enjoy the life. Whether it is often fun? Sense of responsibility. Ask yourself: Can you rely on her? Kindness. Find out if she likes to bring joy to others. Try to peep as she appeals to others, if it is not necessary to demonstrate her positivity. Whether she agrees to do some work on a voluntary basis? Is there a feeling of tenderness in her? Humility, ability to submit to circumstances.The fire will soon extinguish, if not support combustion. And this ability is caused by certain qualities of character.
You choose a bride, not knowing what a woman needs. If so, you run the risk of getting disappointed with your wife.
Having made the decision to create a family, you have to realize that the emotional world of women is fundamentally different from that of men. And to orient yourself on what to learn to truly respect your wife and bring her joy.
It is not an easy task. It needs an individual approach. But remember, every woman, without exception, wants to be loved and needs conjugal feelings to be confirmed. It is not enough just to tell her of your love. It is necessary to constantly pay attention to her.
You make an offer to a girl, without knowing whether your interests are the same, and life goals.
There are three basic conditions for a long period of communication between people when it does not turn into a painful duty:
The presence of common interests.
Commonality (at least, similarity) in life goals.
Before you get married, you should make sure that you and your potential bride has a similar outlook on life.
You did not bother to ask yourself a very important question: Do I respect my beloved one? This question is not as simple as it may seem. It can be easily confused with adoration, admiration.
“I respect her” and “she impressed me” – concepts that lie in different planes. The impression may be produced by “Mercedes”. At the same time, it is not necessary that the owner of a luxury car will have any respect to his vehicle. If you are going to get married, it is important to be sure that you admire the personal qualities of the bride.
You get married because the girl you liked demonstrates dependence on you.
But be aware: it is a too fragile foundation for marital happiness. After all, it often means that the person is deprived of will, not accustomed to act independently and does not know how to make decisions. Yesterday she completely relied on parents today gives herself in your hands. And no one knows what tomorrow will bring…