1st Circle/Inner Circle - Acceptance precedes expectations. Time cannot be a factor Inner Circle because time constraints contradict and kill nurturing and support which are vital Inner Circle, as are compassion, mercy, and quality time. Inner Circle is about nurturing, and nurturing is timeless, not deadline sensitive. … Inner Circle dynamics are unique. This is where we do family – father and heavenly Father, and also mother. It is where we deal with our spiritual subconscious and the four basic emotions-sad, mad, glad and scared. It is where we do love, sex and money. It is the location of core beliefs, values and feelings. It is how we basically handle fear of abandonment and rejection, loud noises and chaos. It is where our spiritual subconscious was programmed when we were babies, 1, 2, up to 6 years of age particularly, and somewhat up to age 12, which is 88% our mind, where our delta, theta, alpha and beta brain waves were programmed. (The Communist Party and the Catholic Church have long recognized if they can program a child in the first six years, they will likely have his/her allegiance for life.) Inner Circle is more about being (feminine) than doing (masculine). To a man, his home is his castle, his fortress that protects him from the world. To a woman, her home is her nest, safe and secure, pretty, where she can let down and relax. Inner Circle is cooperative, win/win, non-competitive. It is about love at all levels. It focuses on welfare, the welfare of the combined man/woman team, the two as one, supporting and sacrificing for each other. It is ideally where acceptance runs with flow, peace-of-mind, contentment, joy, and harmony. This is where true intimacy is established. This is an unbreakable enduring connection and commitment/covenant with distinct polarization +/- (male/female), husband and wife at core. …Applying Third Circle methodology here primarily almost always guarantees disaster. Inner Circle, personal considerations precede tasks. What it takes to be successful Third Circle out is poison to Inner Circle relationships, for Inner Circle is about cooperation not competition, about masculine/feminine not all being masculine, time insensitive not time sensitive, not effective or efficient, personal not impersonal. The covenant Inner Circle is sacred. It is unconditional.
2nd Circle - Friendship – Has some of the qualities of 1st Circle/Inner Circle, but without the locked in programmed intimacy, without sexual intimacy, without the unbreakable enduring covenant, connection or commitment. It also has some of the qualities of the 3rd Circle/Outer Circle of expectations and performance. The stakes personally are not as high here as they are Inner Circle. There is more of a balance between acceptance and expectations, between the unconditional and the conditional. And polarization 2nd Circle can be of the combination +/+, -/-. So, 2nd Circle – Friendship overlaps and interacts with both the 1st and 3rd Circles. … Remember, friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
3rd Circle - Profession – Expectations fulfilled precede acceptance. Time is a significant factor and effectiveness and efficiency come into play big time. It is about doing (masculine), not about being (feminine). Everyone, male and female is masculine (doing, thinking, in their left brain, linear). It is a business organization/pseudo-family that focuses on goals and production, and strategy and tactics to achieve goals. It is competitive. Applying 1st Circle methodology here primarily almost certainly guarantees disaster. (Tasks precede personal considerations.) Third Circle necessarily lacks intimacy. It can be cutthroat, deceptive and manipulative – dog-eat-dog. It is time sensitive and impersonal. Here, service to others is a means to an end of serving ourselves in the profession. The contract is sacred. It is also conditional.
The Inevitable + – of Successful Inner Circle Relationships
Whenever there are two or more people involved in anything, inevitably someone ends up in charge, in control. There is no such thing as equality ever. It is instead workable and best for there to be reciprocity and equity in a relationship.
In an inner circle relationship, if there are no relationship rules, if there is no designated leader, the default mechanism is, “Whoever loves least is in control.” When men are not in charge, not in control, they become/are emasculated predators, parasites and slugs, and women in control become/are burned out and used up – lose-lose.
Good men are controlling in a sense; they take charge. Men are stronger physically than women, are naturally linear (left brain), are more aggressive, and are designed physically to lead. (Men have the initiating organ in sex. Whoever initiates takes responsibility. Whoever takes responsibility leads.) That is what good men do – love their women, cherish their women, lead their women, teach their women, along with provide for, defend and protect their women. Good men are in control! Good men are about sacrifice/ service. This is the characteristic of good leaders – service/sacrifice. This is masculine, positive, +.
Women who bring up the word “controlling” when it comes to men nearly always have issues with men going way back, usually to their fathers, and what such women are really saying they want to be in control, to have the final say. Such women usually have deep-seated fears, insecurities, authority and trust issues, and are not good team players, not good co-pilots under a man’s leadership. Such women
are in their masculine, have a history of train wreck inner circle relationships with men, attract weak men and drive the good ones away because these women want to be in control – in their masculine, not in their feminine.
Such women never get cherished because they are incapable of getting and staying in their feminine, -. So all these controlling women can do is: 1. Offend good masculine men ++; 2. Drive away good masculine men ++; 3. Establish role reversals with the woman in charge -+ (which lasts only short-term); 4. Turn good masculine men into buddies ++ (best case scenario), while attracting the male parasites, slugs, predators, leeches and weaklings, who are already emasculated -+, who drain them.
The only thing that works long-term is this created + – electromagnetic matrix/hologram/fractal we live in is + – when it comes to men and women, masculine and feminine respectively. This is chemistry. This is attraction. This is the only thing that leads to and keeps healthy attraction between men and women, + -, just like with a magnet + -. The feminine is about yielding, trusting, being, feeling, being vulnerable, following, flowing, accepting, receiving, helping and letting go. It takes trust and faith in a man for a woman to get and stay in her feminine.
I have now taught relationship classes to, and/or have consulted with, hundreds of women around the world, and this is the case so far nearly every time. Moreover, I have never had a woman who took the above to heart and practiced it ever come back to me and say it did not work – not a one!
Remember, whoever initiates, whoever takes responsibility, should lead. Men are by design infrared initiators – penises, naturally left brain logical/linear/masculine, yang-light, electromagnetic, kinetic, vectors, grounded, physically stronger. When men do not initiate, take responsibility and lead, as they are comprehensively designed to do, they emasculate themselves. Men are suns, not moons. By contrast, women are by design infrared receivers – vaginas, right brain emotional matrixes/feminine, yin-dark, magneto-electric, potential, static state, ungrounded, physically weaker. When women are not primarily in their feminine (like moons when it comes to men suns inner circle) and receive more than they give, they inevitably burn themselves out. Additionally, healthy men need to do good to feel good; healthy women need to feel good to do good. When a man is respected he feels cherished. When a woman is cherished, she feels respected. As men age they move from their masculine exteriors to their feminine cores, from testosterone to estrogen. As women age they move from there feminine exteriors to their masculine cores, from estrogen to progesterone. This is an “On Golden Pond” kind of thing.