This particular article is for the female audience, but men will also find this interesting as they will understand how wise women qualify men.
I have heard legions of horror stories from women about men who have not met the grade. So, here is a thumbnail checklist for women regarding how to qualify a man for a successful relationship. Remember, first and foremost, there is no substitute for character, commitment and maturity in a man (or a woman) when it comes to choosing someone with whom to have a successful relationship. Don’t believe his words, representations or charm. Performance is what counts when it comes to a man. And for heaven’s sake, don’t get hooked sexually by oxytocin bonding before you had pre-qualified a man. Otherwise, your discernment and judgment are shot to hell.
1) Discover how he spent his time and money, and who with, BEFORE he met you. Men do not change much. If you can discover this from him, his home, his mates/buddies/friends, and/or from his family, you will be way ahead in knowing what you are going to really get and end up with after he gets what he wants from you!
2) Find out his personal and professional track record. Men are like race horses. Bet on the track record personally and professionally to be repeated with you, and discover his pedigree (what kind of a male role model he had, and how well he gets along with his mother). When it comes to men, the apple does not fall far from the tree.
3) Give him the opportunity to be a real man. Give him the opportunity to give more than he gets, to initiate and lead, to value your respect more than sex, and to keep his word and honor his responsibilities and commitments. Any male who does not do this is still a boy, or already either emasculated and/or a predator, parasite or leech. Then, best you can, ladies, keep quiet for a few (6) weeks to discover who he really is and what he is all about. Flow with him for awhile on his agenda. This is just like playing poker, and keeping a poker face and your cards guarded in a game. Let him lead and initiate. Who know? You may discover a new activity of his that you enjoy. But, if you choose not to do this, if instead you choose to be dominant and/or dictate to him what you want, then rest assured he will be targeting giving you what you ask for and want in order to get what he wants from you (usually some combination of sex, money, power, status, companionship and their derivatives). If this occurs, you will not know until too late who he really is and who you really have.
(Out of the shining knight suit pops a rat?)…Relationships, like investing, require taking risks. Put your heart on the line in a relationship just like you put your money on the line in an investment. Then cut your losses short and let your profits run.
One important warning and caveat to all the above: Never ever let a man put you in legal, personal, physical, financial, mental or emotional jeopardy. If he starts to do that, then you have your sell/jettison signal to cut your losses short and run!