How good are you in bed? What your sexual partners say about you behind your back, when discussing your sex with friends? How not to be a loser in sex? How to make sex better and more professional?
Sex brings pleasure no more? Perhaps you are too worried about how does your partner feel? Whatever your problem is, you can improve your sex life using these useful tips.
1.Tune into the success
1.1 Practice safe sex. You will find it easier to relax and enjoy yourself, if you are sure you practice safe sex. With this in mind, make a plan of how to make your sex life as safe as possible. Try to get to know your partner, talk openly about your sexual histories before you have sex. Use a condom or rubber dam every time you have sex.
Only latex and polyurethane condoms protect against HIV and sexually transmitted infections. Polyurethane condoms are easier to break than latex. Use a condom every time you have vaginal, anal or oral sex. A cofferdam is a latex barrier, which you can use during oral sex as pleasure a woman. This will help prevent the spread of HIV and STDs. It is also possible to cut the condom and its use as a barrier.
Women also should consider vaccination against HPV, it will help prevent problems such as vaginal growths and cervical cancer. Vaccination against HPV in some people can cause loss of consciousness and an allergic reaction, so consult with your doctor about whether vaccination would be ok for you.
1.2 Love your body. The feeling of embarrassment or shame about your body can make sex uncomfortable. If you suffer from problems with the reflection of your body in the mirror, which negatively affect your sex life, make a priority of correction that you can fix, and acceptance that you can not fix. Loving your body is the key to a happiness, and the first step to improve the sex life.
Try to look at yourself in the mirror and find new positive features of your body.
You can also try to explore your body in a sexual way. People who masturbate receive more sexual satisfaction than those who do not. It will be easier to transfer your needs to the partner, if you know what brings you a pleasant feeling .
1.3 communicate openly with your partner. Communication will improve your sexual satisfaction and will be beneficial to your physical vicinity. It may be difficult to establish and maintain open communication with your partner, especially if you feel uncomfortable about desires in bed. Think about what you can say and still feel comfortable and safe.
No matter how well you may know each other, yet your partner can not read minds. If you want something to change in your love life, then you need to talk about it. If your partner is really serious about you, she will be ready to listen and to respect your needs.
1.4 Tell what you like. You need to be open with your partner about your feelings and attitudes toward sex. In addition, it is necessary to ask what your partner likes and what she wants in bed. Shyness or modesty brings awkwardness and timidity of your partner, which can only worsen the close experience for both of you. Allow yourself to enjoy the experience and show your partner that you love it too.
Do not blame your partner for what she likes. Both of you may be scared to voice such innermost thoughts, so listen to them without interrupting. If your partner likes what you do not like, let her know that you are not interested, but so that she does not feel strange because of her desires.
Avoid using euphemisms when possible. They are not clear and your partner may be more difficult to understand you because of them. Use language that is comfortable to you, but remember that sex is not something “wrong” or “dirty.” In addition, it is useful to use clear and accessible terms.
1.5 Let the partner know what techniques do not work for you. It is better to use the sentences beginning with “I” and “me” in order to express what is not working for you instead of blaming someone. If you will be more open about the fact that you do not like it, you can fix it. And that will only improve your sex.
For example, tell your partner: “I think that we are too hasty in sex. What can we do to fix it?” This proposal sends an issue that has arisen in your bed, but no one else puts the blame for it. It indicates that there is something over which you can work together.
Express thoughts positively, for example: “I really like when you do it, and I would like to experience it more often,” or “That’s what works for me better than that, maybe better try first?”
1.6 Keep track of your partner. Consider her pleasure as the main goal. Of course, it is important that you also get what you expect from a sexual relationship, but it is necessary to be a good example. The more you try to your partner, the more she will give to you. The key to good sex is taking into account and recognizing the reaction of your partner during the process.
Stop if you notice that your partner winces. You can hurt her with your actions. When you hear that the partner groans, repeat the movement which has just been made, because it is likely to bring pleasure to your partner . The main thing is to watch your partner during sexual intercourse to be sure she also likes what you’re doing.
Stop immediately if she says “no”
Remember that if your partner does not say “no”, it does not mean that she likes the situation. Obtaining consent is a continuous process. After all, your goal is the mutual repeated loud “yes!”.
2. Improve the act
2.1 Reject porn stereotypes. Porn simply does not reflect reality. Pornography is set up so as to look good on the screen, but it usually does not show what actually brings a pleasant sensation.
Try to start without any expectations from sex. Just let everything go naturally.
2.2 Take your time to enjoy. Enjoy every minute of this experience. Enjoy all the sensations of sexual experience. Pay attention to the erogenous zones of the partner, and take the time to their affection. Take your time and explore all the body of your partner. No need to pay attention only to the usual caresses parts.
You can also play games with each other to spice sex. Always focus on the communication between you and your partner.
Do not forget to keep kissing. Sexual kissing will be a wonderful way to prolong the pleasure.
2.3 Focus on foreplay. Take the time kissing, caressing and giving pleasure to each other before you move on to the main event . Foreplay prolongs sex and gives it more romance. Women find that foreplay helps them create the right mood, while men tend to be more ready to start at any moment.
Setting up a woman on the right wave is in your best interest. This will increase the amount of the natural lubricant and allow to get more pleasure from sex.
2.4 Keep paying compliments. Your partner should not doubt the fact that you think she is the sexiest girl on the planet, and possibly in the entire universe. Do not forget to tell your partner when you see something you like. You do not need to talk about it all the time, just let your partner know that you enjoy her body.
2.5 Use the correct grease. Lubricants can significantly improve sexual pleasure. But it is important to use high-quality lubricants for good sex. The sexual act involves a lot of frictions and frictions are nice in most cases. However, it does have its drawbacks such as rubbing or discomfort. Lubricants are available in most stores and pharmacies, as well as on the Internet. You can also get them through your doctor or sexual health clinic.
Choose lubricants containing no glycerol. It leads to vaginal dryness. Do not use flavored products or other materials that may cause vaginal dryness, for example, shower gels, lotions, soaps and bath oils. Follow the manufacturer’s instructions for correct use of lubricants.
There are three types of lubricants: water, oil-based and silicone. Water-based lubricants are easy to find in stores. They can also be used in conjunction with condoms. They can prevent the rupture of the condom and cause less genital symptoms than a silicone based lubricant.
Lubricants based on silicon work longer than others, so they will be the best choice for anal sex. Oil based lubricants can not be used with latex condoms, because they can lead to rupture.
2.6 Do not hesitate to make sounds. Try to make satisfaction sounds, so your partner can understand you are having a good time. Do not overdo it, but the usual moans and sighs let your partner realize that her actions are pleasing to you and they are worth repeating.
A recent study has shown that partners who make sounds during sex receive more fun from it. So just do what you want to do. Express your pleasure loudly, if you want to.
3. Try something new
3.1 Surrender your fantasies. You do not have to make any large-scale steps, but little quirks can add variety and spark to your sex life. The problem is that sex can easily become a routine exercise, especially if you are dating for long enough. You need to give up the monotony to make sex always interesting. Nothing is so useful in parting with boredom as silk blindfolds, fluffy handcuffs and a fun games.
Experiment with sex toys. The inclusion of sexual accessories in your sex life will increase your pleasure, as most sex toys can bring pleasure to both partners. Do some research to see what you might have missed in this matter.
Many people have very specific sexual fantasies, so they hesitate to share with a partner. Share your fantasies, if you are comfortable enough with your partner.
3.2 Continue to support the unpredictability. You can know exactly what to do to instantly bring a partner to orgasm, but that does not mean that it is necessary to do that. Sex should occur naturally and be spontaneous. If you and your partner have sex every day at the same time, then it’s time to make small changes.
Vary your postures, use accessories, and change the dominant role.
3.3 Try new positions. Changing positions during sex can improve the fun of it. You and your partner can bring some new kind of pleasure to each other. For example, try different rider positions. They allow women having more control over the situation and strengthen her delight.
Try doggy style. Despite the unattractive name, this pose is exceptionally suitable for pregnant women and certain types of female stimulation.
Try also the coital alignment technique. This sexual position was investigated, and it has been proven to provide the most stimulation for women by allowing both partners to get the most from the sensations of sexual intercourse. It is similar to the traditional missionary position, but it creates a more pleasant situation for both partners.
Try the side pose. If one or both partners are experiencing pain in the back, or if there is discomfort due to the size of the penis, side pose will give you more comfort and control over the process. There are many variations of this position, so pick one that you like.
4. Outsource help
4.1 Find the resources. You can find inspiration in erotic stories (many women were delighted with the book “50 shades of gray”), but you can also find helpful advice in various books and manuals to improve your sexual life. Look for books written by sex experts.
4.2 Go to the doctor. Some causes of sexual dysfunction may be medical, especially in men. Erectile dysfunction, for example, is usually caused by heart disease, high blood pressure and obesity, although stress can also be a cause. Talk to your doctor, if you are experiencing physical problems that interfere with your sex life.
Many diseases that cause sexual dysfunction are treatable. Do not be ashamed to go to the doctor, as problems in sex are a fairly common complaint, so your doctor is likely to constantly deal with them.
4.3 Consult with a specialist. Sometimes couples have problems in their sex lives, which they can not solve on their own. This is quite natural. A family therapist who specializes in sex therapy can help, If you continue to have problems with sex. Doctor-sexologist (or family psychologist specializing in sexuality) knows what questions you need to ask to help two people understand what may be the cause of their problems in the bedroom.
It can be very embarrassing to talk to a stranger about your sex life, but sexologists adhere to the same rules of confidentiality as other doctors in the field of psychotherapy. They are always willing to help you and will not judge you or to discuss your problems with others.
It takes practice to improve your sex. Do not panic if it does not bring you mind-blowing pleasure from the beginning. You are still learning your own body and the techniques that work or do not work for you in bed.
Remember that contraceptives do not protect you from sexually transmitted diseases, and are not 100% effective in preventing pregnancy. Love can never be 100% safe, but open conversations with your partner about your sexual history and the use of condoms during every sexual act can significantly reduce risks.